just breathe


so i finally have a chance to write a little more.   (dear blog readers, i promise i haven’t forgotten you!)

i wrote briefly earlier about how i’ve struggled with stress (which ultimately stems from worry and a lack of belief in God’s sovereign ability to hold life together) but i wanted to take the time to write a little about how the Lord is working in my heart to war against this doubt.

(you would think that after such a crazy and faith-demanding love story i would be able to trust the Father with a few little ol details…*shrugs*)

i just finished participating in and working through the beth moore study daniel: lives of integrity, words of prophecy with some ladies in the church at wade. the last two weeks of the study focus heavily on fixing our eyes on Christ, trusting that He is in control of everything.  of course, beth was writing in the frame of reference of end time events, but it spoke to my heart just the same with my life at present.

i’ve found myself, as a result of this study meditating on the words of colossians 3:

“since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. set your mind on things above, not on earthly things. for you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. when Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory…let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  and be thankful.”

lately, it seems like my life is consumed by the necessity found in tiny little details of this world.  tying up all the loose ends so i can graduate in may.  organizing office records and attendance sheets at wade, which usually doesn’t feel like ministry.  and let’s not even start on all the “tiny little details” involved in wedding planninng!

i’ve never had to battle so hard to set my mind on things above;

things that last;

things that truly matter.

but thank you, dear book of daniel, for reminding me that “set hearts and minds will always turn to action” (beth moore).  if my focus remains steady on to the Ultimate, namely, the feet of Christ, then surely God is faithful. 

“seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

it’s all light and momentary anyway.  my degree will fade and the paper will tatter and tear.  the office records and attendance forms will meet the paper shredder one day.  and a wedding?  pssh!  it’s just one day in the grand scheme of things.  the covenant that results from it is what lasts. 

“if i find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
i can only conclude that i was not made for here
if the felsh that i fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course i’ll feel nude when to where i’m destined i’m compared

speak to me in the light of the dawn
mercy comes with the morning
i will sigh and with all creation groan as i wait for hope to come for me…
for we, we are not long here
our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it…”

– “c.s. lewis song”, brooke fraser

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