I must confess, I am skeptical about all of this New Years resolution stuff.
A sizable chunk of my undergraduate work was spent discussing change – in the context of weight-loss mostly – but change nonetheless.
I know Prochaska and DiClemente’s Transtheoretical Model for Stages of Change forward and backward. The truth is, most of us skip the steps of contemplating (“I should really change this”) and preparing (“This is my plan for how I will change this”) and jump in to the chain half way through, guns blazing on January first. And then we wonder why we fail.
My typical M.O. is that I simply change whatever about my life whenever I am ready to, whether that is in January or August, but as I’ve seen reading lists and words of the year glide across my blogroll I started to wonder if maybe all resolutions weren’t so bad. That, perhaps, there is something to be said for setting out an intention for the year. Something to be said for being intentional with our time. Intention, not resolution.
My mind wanders to yoga class:
“Set an intention for your practice today. As your mind wanders, come back to this intention. Center yourself on it. Come back to your breath.”
If it works in yoga, perhaps it would be beneficial in my day to day.
A word. A phrase. One solitary idea weaving its way in and out, through every moment and thought like breath. Something to come back to when I feel as though I’ve lost my way. Something to search for in the situations in which I am frustrated.
An intention for this year.
I draw it out of Ephesians 3.
“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father…so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith – that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have the strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with the fullness of God.”
I want to know, oh how I want to know the breadth and length and height and depth of Christ’s love. And I need desperately, daily to be filled with it’s fullness.
I want to be rooted in my understanding of God’s character, not just God’s love (that comes much easier to me) but each aspect of this infinite and mysterious Being who has captured my soul.
I want to be rooted in my understanding of myself.
I want to stop sabotaging myself.
I want to try things that seem ludicrous.
I want to fail, so that I might stop fearing failure.
I want to own the things I’m good at, and rock them out.
I want to grow up. To commit. To decide what just what exactly my dreams are and pursue them.
I want my roots to grow so deep that the whipping, biting wind of fear cannot sway me.
I want roots.
Rooted in love.
What is your intention for the year? Did you make any resolutions?